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Ten Incredibly Small Things You Can Do to Combat Hyper-Capitalism

by Jason Morrison

In the wake of the WTO protest in Seattle, many students, anarchists and unions are wondering-- "What can we do to fight multinational corporations?" The answer: nothing. But the following these small practices, every day, will make you feel better.

1. Use more napkins than you need to at McDonald's. If you normally use one napkin, take three. If you normally use three, take six, you fat slob. For those of you worried about the environment, feel free to take the napkins home and recycle them.

2. See a penny, pick it up, melt it down. All capitalist systems rely on abundant, free-flowing currency. Each time you see a penny on the sidewalk, pick it up and then dispose of it through melting, tossing in the ocean, etc. One less cent someone will spend at WalMart.

3. Use Netscape instead of Internet Explorer. Internet Explorer is owned by Microsoft, one of the largest and most evil corporations available. Netscape is owned by AOL-Time Warner, a slightly smaller, slightly less evil corporation.

4. Put together a Marx Brothers film festival. Then sneak The Communist Manifesto in 3D in right after Duck Soup.

5. Instead of buying books from Amazon.com, buy them from a site associated with Amazon.com. That site will get a small commission, which is a few cents less profit to one of the largest internet corporations. Boycotting Amazon altogether is crazy-do you really want to pay more for books, videos and CDs?

6. Read fan fiction. Instead of buying official Star Wars novels or X-Files guidebooks, read photocopied or email-distributed fan fiction. Why pour another billion into Lucas' and Murdoch's pockets when you can read uneven prose often including either the author in the story or unlikely homosexual relationships between characters?

7. Draw an anarchy symbol on your math notebook. Nothing hurts big money PACs and Shell Oil like carrying a big scary A through the halls of your high school/college.

8. Vote Democrat instead of Republican. Republicans are the richest and most evil candidates available. Democrats are often slightly less rich, slightly less evil candidates.

9. Constantly mention Noam Chompsky, Ralph Nader, and Ché Guevara. Almost any conversation is ripe for a reference to three guys the multinationals probably hate.

10. Become a libertarian and a socialist at the same time. Narrow-minded professors and writers may tell you the two ideologies are incompatible, but how else can you justify abolishing our evil-empire government and abolishing soulless capitalist multinational corporations. I bet if they legalized pot, both tasks would be immediately magically accomplished.








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