May 1998
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My Mom is "Punk Rock"

By Jessica Brandt

I've seen the signs. I have come to realize that I can no longer overlook the fact that my mom is Punk Rock. You may ask "What is Punk Rock?" Well, it's an attitude, a statement, a fad, and a music all in one. Although my mom is a 40-something working mother of 2 college-aged kids, and wife to a blue-collar man, she still shows the signs of being Punk Rock. What are those signs? Well, I'll tell you:

My mom dyes her hair black. Jet black. Sure, maybe it's because she's been going grey since she was 18, but she still is never seen without that black mane. Never brunette or strawberry blonde, oh no. Black as death. This is my mom

My mom (just to let you know how cool she is) tapes "Martha Stewart's Living" every day. This might not be very Punk Rock. However, when she watches the tape on Sundays, she thinks Martha is pretty damn funny. Yeah! Look at that woman rake! Yeah! What a hoot! What a moron!

My mom hates teachers. She hates teachers, she hates substitute teachers, she hates secretaries, she hates parents. She probably hates you, too.

My mom drives a car which has been in three accidents. Her car also, until recently, had a huge hole in the bumper. Did she get it fixed? No way, not until it got in another accident and THEN it got fixed.

My mom has been to 3 Punk Rock concerts. Two of them were in bars. They were late at night. They were very loud. I assure you, she loved every minute of them.

My mom is not too embarassed to wear clothes spotted with paint, or shoes that are all dirty. My mom wears nice clothes to work, BUT she changes them as soon as she gets home. She is much more comfortable in her Punk Rock clothes.

My mom sings along to Alanis Morisette while she does the dishes. She does those dishes by hand, too. No dish washer for this hardcore Punk, man!

My mom is also a cyber-Punk. She has two e-mail addresses. She surfs the net. She thinks The Shrubbery is rad.

So, you can see how obvious it is that my mom is Punk Rock. She may not admit it, but she is hardcore all the way. Maybe your mom is too. Always remember, though, my mom did it first. Happy Mothers' Day, Mom! Rock on!!

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