This page copyright 1998 The Shrubbery
Why I miss my mom
by Todd McCafferty
I am a freshman at Ohio Wesleyan University and boy do I miss my mom now! Of course, I missed my mom when I left home. I missed just having a mom around. It was tough in the mornings when I would wake up and no one was there except three other men in various stages of undress and of course my roommates.
But I would have to say that the first time I realized to what great extent I missed my mom is when I felt vomity. I was trying to sleep and all of a sudden I felt vomity for no reason. I could feel and taste the barf globules pushing their way up my esophagus, so I sprung out of by bed and raced towards the toilet bowl. But boy did I screw up big time! Instead of spewing straight into the toilet's pit, I launched watery throw up all over the floor and wall of the bathroom. Well, that is not entirely true. It was watery, but I have to say that when it was all over I was astonished at the sheer quantity of vomit bits, there were more chunks then I thought. This was at 3 in the morning and I was totally vomity and confused. I had turned our toilet enclosure into a vomitorium, replete with puke and some yellow sinusy goo. I would hearken it to the mass slaughter of innocents in My Lai, only this wasn't Vietnam, this was Vomitnam! I had to clean the mess up myself and boy was it vomity! I went about it by first running the shower so the sound would cool my nerves down, because I was still afraid of afterpukes that might erupt instantaneously. Running water makes my tummy feel calm. Once I collected myself, I looked around for awhile trying to figure out what I could do to clean it up. I was not privy to any fancy equipment or anything so I had to use paper towels and eventually my roommate Jason's towel (don't worry Jay, I eventually ran some water from the tap over it.) After sopping up the easy-to-get-to watery part, I had to push the cubes of stomach poop out from the corners and pick those up. Then I took a bucket and threw water all over the floor and sopped that up. There was still some vomit stains on the wall and over in the corner behind the toilet but I was like, "whatever, forget that."
Yeah, so like, my mom always had cleaned up my vomit before and now I had to. That was tough. Happy Mother's Day mom and I miss you a whole lot, especially the part where you clean up my vomit.