May 1998
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I am a Sick Perverted Bastard

By Erik Hromatka

I am a sick perverted bastard. I know it, you don't have to tell me why. As the first snow began to fall I liked it. As I sat in my room, in my Virgil Michael building, watching the snow gently falling, I enjoyed it, and then something caught me eye. Someone slipped and fell.

It was funny, I laughed.

I am a sick perverted bastard.

So I began watching this folly of campus life, for at least an hour. The poor innocent students that walked around the corner of the almighty Sexton building, and slipped on the ice, one after another. I laughed.

Soon my roommates joined in the watching, we began guessing who was going to fall first.

The ones we like to see fall the most are the ones who think that they have control over the situation and try to slide on the ice, OOPS, there went another.

I'm still laughing.

It began to occur to us, sitting in the warm, slip resistant confines of our room, that this may be the best non-alcoholic entertainment on campus... so we started to drink.

I am a sick perverted bastard... and I hope that classes are canceled tomorrow.

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