July 1998
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The Shrubbery tours Argentina - a pictorial travelogue

by Jason Morrison

Martin stands by a large body of water, much like our own Lake Eire back home. We were told by local missionaries that this was the "ocean" (El Mar ("el mar")in the local tongue). According to ancient myth and folklore, this water covers two-thirds of the entire world! Todd said it sounded like the Great Flood in the Bible, but I cautioned him that these were pagan legends and nothing more.

Todd soon had mastery over the "ocean," controlling it with his American willpower. He added some dramatic arm movements and a few shouts for dramatic effect, and soon we were being worshiped by the entire country. We couldn't fool Martin, though--he knew it wasn't magic, but natural superiority that allowed Todd to flood the village.

It's amazing how silly the local languange seemed to our sophisticated ears. For example, the English word "bimbo" (a strumpet, or idiot slut) meant "the trademarked brand name of a large bakery company" in Argentina. Not only that, but they had a cute little bear as their totem--certainly not a strumpet!

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