The Shrubbery
July 1999
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Letters to the Editors

Wow, when we asked for more mail, I don't think we knew what we were getting into! Our mailbox was crammed this month, with hapy and not-so-happy notes from people who love and hate The Shrub. Jason loved one of the letters so much that he permanently posted it on our Our Philosophy page. That one was definitely not a happy note.

Another thing that happened to us this month, was that we actually had to "threaten" someone who STOLE from us! Yes, there are still people out there (most of them under 15 and AOL users) who think it's okay to steal stuff from other websites and call them their own. Since then, he has made a cute little picture of Jason's head on a dog, tried to poke fun at us, no one cared, and as of June 29, has decided that no one likes him and will discontinue updating his Squirrel Nut Zippers site. Some fan, eh?

Let this be a lesson to y'all. Don't mess wid da Shrub, we bring baaaaad voodoo. But if you want to write to us, we're at

Dear Dan and all you other peoples at the Shrub,

I'd just like to say that I totally agree with your column this month. Finally, someone who can see the whole picture, not just bits and pieces. Nice job, and hopefully more people read what you wrote, and get the idea. Thanks!

Oh, and all you others, your 'zine is great, keep up the good work, have a great summer and I'll see some of you again in the fall.

Jennine Zeleznik

Editor's Note: We had the summer off? Damn! Wish I wouldn't have wasted my time with the July issue....And since when did Jason and Jess become "All you other peoples"?

Pardon my multiple emails as I read sirs...but as a non homphobic, str8, white, democratic, hyper-liberal but Christian man (you know, the kind that are now all evil and have entire programs at universities for how to learn to get a PHD in hating us), I want to disagree with one letter [sent last month] and offer my rebuttal. Here is is:

I like Dan's hair.

P. Kellach Waddle

Editor's Note: Too late. Dan took last month's reader's comment to heart and shaved his head bald.

I Just read angry Dan's column. And it occurred to me that I should own up to being responsible for my home countries (New Zealand) ridiculously high teenage suicide rate. I'm the front man for a totally unknown band called Christ like Wounds. We play in a totally unknown and media ignored style known as DOOM. Basically the slowest, most depressing and melodramatic style of music there is. (Performed by bands such as My Dying Bride, Anathema, Theatre of Tragedy, (early) Candlemass. Never heard of them? I get that all the time.) In the 80's some psychologists believed listening to this style of music to be a mental illness. Due to the fact that the small audience were dropping like flies from self inflicted gun shot wounds, wrist slashings, hangings etc. Anyway to get to the point. I'm unleashing more of this music on this poor innocent world, my poems reflect the sort of lyrics I write. Everything I write is incredibly depressing. So if anyone actually pays any attention to my music or poetry they may be driven to suicide. Cause after all my writings and music have far more impact on young people than their parents, peers, environment, genes and religion.

P.S. Anyone familiar with the word catharsis?

-Matt "the bastard responsible for *insert name of dead loved one*'s death" Chamberlain

Editor's Note: Sheep outnumber humans in New Zealand 5 to 1.

Dear Shrubbery, Nobody is to blame Melissa Johnson Editor's Note: No, Matt Chamberlain is to blame!

Dear Shrubbery,

I enjoyed the article that you wrote on the new Ben Folds Five CD [April '99, however you were wrong when you said that Darren wrote "Magic" after his grandfather died. Not true, he wrote "Magic" after a good friend died in Chapel Hill, NC. The cover of the new CD is Darren's grandfather taken when he was in his mid to late 20's-Darren never knew him, how do I know? This was my father and he was killed during WWII. I think it is great that Sony art dept picked the photo out of all that were presented for the cover, I wish my Dad was here to enjoy it all. I know things sometimes sound better to link a song to something familiar that we can all relate to, and the real reason Darren wrote it was to help him deal with his loss, Darren is a very private person and a terrific son.

Mrs. Jessee

Editor's Note: This is not a fake letter. She didn't sign it "Mrs. Jessee" but then again, we don't need a million people digging through the Chapel Hill phonebook to find her, do we? Anyway, we thanked her a hundred times for setting us straight and fixed the little error in the review.
Later we found out that the friend Darren sings about is Stacy Guess, most notably the former trumpet player from the Squirrel Nut Zippers. There's a bit about it on the Official SNZ Website if you want to know more.

hey you seem to be taking a lot of flak for those rock star interviews you somehow seem to get i thought they were great maybe it was only one flak but it was awhile ago when i read those editors letters so who knows anyway some people after they do those question and answer phone type interview things actually write some sort of piece centered around the interview instead of just typing up the transcripts


Editor's Note: I don't know if he was ripping on me or complimenting me. No matter, he's just a mutant man. By the way, he always writes like that.

NO 1-900 FEES!
Just a regular long distance call!
CALL NOW!!! 1-***-***-****


Editor's Note: I think this one was for Dan, too.

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