This page copyright 1998 The Shrubbery
HANGNAILS, RELIGION, AND VOLKSWAGENS
by Mark Dunphy
Have you ever had a vicious hangnail?
I am not talking about your run-of-the-mill hangnail. I mean one that really clings hard, like an aging actress to her plastic surgeon.
I am talking about one so bad that you leave it hanging, rather than sucking it up and tearing it off.
I'm talking about such a horrible hangnail that if Jesus Christ were to have such a hangnail, he would say "Jesus Christ!" Coming from Jesus, who has actually hung from nails, that would be saying something indeed!
Well, I've never had a hangnail like that.
I'd rather be run down by a big-shoed phlebotomist in a Volkswagen.