Jessica: Hey how's it going?

Jeff: Not to bad...

Jessica: Your roommate, I think, gave me your name.

Jeff: My roommate, huh?

Jessica: he wants me to interview you for The Shrubbery. Ever heard of it?

Jeff: Yes, I have.

Jessica: Okay well we do this "Interviews with Ordinary People" thing every month, and he thinks you're pretty ordinary, I guess.

Jeff: If being unemployed is ordinary, where do I sign up?

Jessica: Ha! Well you don't get paid for this or anything. All I need is 30 minutes of your time. Are you interested?

Jeff: I'm interested...

Jessica: You sure? It could bring a lot of fame and fortune. You might have to completely change your life.

Jeff: I took an online test last night, it said I could handle success.

Jessica: What was the test about?

Jeff: It was about whether or not I could handle success.

Jessica: So you're totally up for this? Being successful, I mean.

Jeff: Hey!, I'm ready for anything....and if I can't handle it, I won't hold The Shrubbery responsible.

Jessica: All right, let's go then!

Jeff: Just to settle my paranoid side, I'm asking for you name. See, last night, my roommate and I played practicle jokes on eachother.

Jessica: My name is Jessica. What was the joke?

Jeff: I had an online friend send a pic of her friend (Jake) who was dressed up as a girl to Sebastion [my roommate.]

Jessica: Sneaky

Jeff: Sebastion thought the girl in the pic looked alright, 'til he found out the girl had a penis.

Jessica: Did he find that out through the picture?

Jeff: No, my friend finally told him.

Jessica: You could have carried that joke a little further...

Jeff: Well, Sebastion asked a passer-by at school what he thought of the so-called chick. The passer-by thought she looked good. Sebastion confessed the chick had a dick. And that joke died after that.

Jessica: Wow. So is that considered fun where you come from?

Jeff: Where we come from?

Jessica: Or wherever you are.

Jeff: I think it's the people...not the place.

Jessica: Oh i get it. So how old are you?

Jeff: I'm 21.

Jessica: Ol' Sebastion says you had a pretty exciting August.

Jeff: I think you have that mixed around. He's one that had an exciting August.

Jessica: No, he said "We had a pretty exciting august and he could tell you about it or maybe I could and you could make it funny" or something. Like it's my job to make people with stupid stories about their Summers look funny!

Jeff: Well, if you can make a move from Michigan to Oklahoma funny, then by all means please do so. I sure hope you're able to do miracles.

Jessica: Why would you move back to oklahoma? That's pretty funny.

Jeff: I'm from here...and there was a force stronger than I ever thought possible pull me back.

Jessica: Did it have breasts?

Jeff: Why yes....yes she does, how did you know that?

Jessica: I've found that breasts have quite the gravitational pull.

Jeff: They SURE DO!!

Jessica: You should have made her come to Michigan. Michigan is where it's at!

Jeff: Well, Michigan isn't "where it's at".

Jessica: Oh. I've never been there.

Jeff: The winters there are horrible...6 feet of snow...

Jessica: Yeah but they never had one dust storm, I bet.

Jeff: This isn't the Grapes of Wrath era.

Jessica: So they got rid of all that dust?

Jeff: Yes...

Jessica: where'd they put it?

Jeff: We had it all shipped to Utah. Where no one lives.

Jessica: The girl from the "Real World" who lived there, she got kicked out. And sent back to wisconsin!

Jeff: There was a "Real World," Utah?

Jessica: No, but this season on the "Real World," the girl from BYU got kicked out of BYU for "cohabitating." They won't let her be a mormon anymore.

Jeff: Oh no!! Man that's some crazy shit the "Real World."

Jessica: Tell me about it. So your roommate's name is Sebastion, huh? That's pretty exciting.

Jeff: Oh it sure is...

Jessica: You know, I really want a bunny. And I really want to name it Sebastian.

Jeff: A bunny huh?

Jessica: Yeah. a gray one.

Jeff: Did you know rabbits can live for weeks without eating?

Jessica: Good!

Jeff: So if you ever go on a long trip...you're covered.

Jessica: I was thinking of letting my boyfriend keep the bunny for a while.

Jeff: Well then that's one dead bunny.

Jessica: I will be sure to visit Sebastian at least once a week.

Jeff: Well that's good, I guess...

Jessica: Your roommate says you're two fat guys living together. Or he is one fat guy, living with you.

Jeff: Actually the truth is...he's really not that fat anymore.

Jessica: What happened? Did he fall off the wagon?

Jeff: By fat people's standards he's thin.

Jessica: What about you?

Jeff: I'm fat!

Jessica: Really fat?

Jeff: Yes, really fat!

Jessica: Way to go!

Jeff: Thank you...

Jessica: Fat is cool, for a while. But if I were thin, I'd think fat wasn't cool.

Jeff: For awhile huh? When does it wear off?

Jessica: When you have to climb a lot of stairs.

Jeff: Oh! well that's why I don't put myself in those kind of situations. "Does this building have an elevator?" "Yes!" "WOO HOO!!"

Jessica: Is Oklahoma a relatively flat place with hardly any stairs?

Jeff: No..it's not flat at all.

Jessica: But there are no mountains...

Jeff: We have roling hills.

Jessica: Full of dust?

Jeff: Full of rock.

Jessica: Rock n' roll?

Jeff: You got it...

Jessica: Anyone famous from Oklahoma?

Jeff: Garth Brooks. Reba.

Jessica: No way!

Jeff: Yes way.

Jessica: So do you listen to country music?

Jeff: I stay away from that horrible noise.

Jessica: So what do you listen to?

Jeff: Rock, pop, alternative and some Indie.

Jessica: Oklahoma indie?

Jeff: No.

Jessica: Belle & Sebastian?

Jeff: I don't even think we have any.

Jessica: In honor of your roommate?

Jeff: Yeah, about that Belle & Sebastian, I deleted it from Napster, he just doesn't know it yet.

Jessica: Why don't you like Belle & Sebastian?

Jeff: Oh! it's not that I don't like them, I've never heard them...but I needed the extra hard drive space.

Jessica: Your roommate probably got all the songs with his name in them.

Jeff: Actualy, he did. Sad, huh?! But oh well..

Jessica: That's all right. i've only got a few MP3s and one of them is "Jessica"

Jeff: Simpson?

Jessica: No, that's the name of the song.

Jeff: Oh, good.

Jessica: So what were we talking about?

Jeff: Low income housing on the African Plains.

Jessica: Do you agree or disagree?

Jeff: I'm totally for it!

Jessica: Why is that? Sum it up in 10 words or less.

Jeff: The U.S. needs the cash flow...we're in debt you know!

Jessica: Right on. So do you think this has been an interesting interview?

Jeff: Yeah! Where else was I going to pitch my low income housing idea?