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Olympic Fever- Catch It!

by Jessica Brandt

Man, I cannot WAIT for the Olympics to get here! Not here, I mean to Sydney where the majesty and athletecism of the Olympics will descend very soon. Athletes from all over the world will participate in such popular sports as rowing, shot put, ping pong and skiing.

Australia is such a perfect place for Olympics, too. They have so much open space. None of this "bombing in the park" stuff will go on, because there won't be more than say 10 or 20 people in one area at one time. Also, people in Australia don't have bombs, they just have "croc' killin' bowie knives."

This year I am most interested in watching the fate of the American women's gymnastic team as such heroes as Keri Strugg and those other girls try to recapture the gold. Perhaps Matt Gafari will bring another medal back to Ohio. Maybe FloJo will be the fastest woman on Earth.

I'm not sure how Americans will fare, however, being that there is such a big time difference between here and Australia. They will have to perform during the wee hours of the Australian morning in order for the U.S. to show their events live. Australia is nearly 22 hours ahead of us, you know.

There is also a problem with gravity. Being as they will be on the bottom-side of the Earth, gravity will be pulling them towards the up-side. This is no good, because when they trained, they were being pulled toward the bottom-side. And Australia is also full of sand.

But America won't be the only country I will cheer for. I am considering my people's homeland, Slovakia (no relation) to perhaps be on top this year. Athletes like Mikulas Knopka of shot put and the Allorova sisters of synchronized swimming are huge contenders this year. Not to mention they Slovakia national soccer (futbol) team, which has a very good chance against Italy, Britian and Brazil.

But it's not about who wins, right? It's all about trying your best and being on television in America. It's about endorsements and Aborigines and spectacular opening ceremonies. It's about people descending on odd parts of the world so that part of the world has a slight chance of economic prosperity so that someday we can make documentaries about this place and say "It all changed when the Olympics came to town."

So anyway, I encourage all of you to go out to your local TV and support the Olympics. If you're totally crazy, why not go out to Sydney and check out the games? It's all about sports. It's all about beauty. It's all about love.

Now, what channel are the games going to be on?

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